How To Use Cutlery The Correct Way
by EmeraldNorth
Summary: "And besides, why should I help you after you assaulted somebody with a fork?" "That's not true!" She continued pouting. "It was a spoon." He sighed. "Alright, why should I help you after you tried to dig out somebody's eyeballs with a spoon?" Tenten is too impulsive for her own good sometimes. [One-shot; Light NejiTen]


**AN: This may or may not turn into a one-shot collection...**

 **I don't own Naruto.**

* * *

"I don't get why we have to go and pick up the idiot." Naruto grumbled as he walked alongside his childhood friend.

Sakura sighed as she shook her head in annoyance, making her pink hair swish behind her. " And I've already explained this to you countless times. He needs a ride. And so do we." She glanced up at him as they neared Sasuke's work place. "And besides, it's easier for Kiba to pick us up if we're all in one place."

"Uggggh… This is such a pain…" Naruto moaned in annoyance.

"You're sounding like Shikamaru, cut it out." She chastised him. Sakura pushed open the door to the police station.

The young receptionist was still shuffling through a few files as they entered.

"Hey guys." He greeted them without looking up.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun, how are you feeling?" Sakura cheerfully asked him.

He glanced up at her. "Apparently not as well as you." He remarked casually.

"Hey idiot, you ready to leave yet?" Naruto impatiently asked the young Uchiha.

The black-haired teen just defiantly scoffed. "Does it look like it, airhead?"

"C'mon dude, how much longer are you going to take?" Naruto impatiently asked again. "Didn't your shift end ten minutes ago?"

"It did." Sasuke sighed. "But I still have to wait till this one chick gets bailed out. She promised her friend would be here any moment." He grimaced at something, but didn't go any further.

"Can't she just wait till tomorrow? Kiba is probably already waiting for us." The blonde youth whined.

"It can't take too long, and anyway…" He cautiously peeked around the corner and ushered the two of them to come closer to him, to which they immediately obliged. "I'm not going to argue with her. That girl is bat-shit crazy, if you thought Tsunade was scary, this one takes the cream." A shiver ran down his back. "I think we're all safer if we just sit this one out."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at his best friend. Sasuke Uchiha was not scared. Especially not of some random chick. Sure, Sakura could have her moments when the two males decided it was best to just give her what she wants, but as said, those were mere moments.

* * *

 _3 hours ago…_

"Sasuke, we just got called out." Sasuke looked up from the papers on his desk and looked at his watch. His turn at the reception desk wouldn't start in another hour, so he grabbed his holster and jacket and followed his brother out of the building.

"Lead the way, Nii-san. What've got?"

Itachi frowned for a moment. "I'm not quite sure, but apparently somebody is threatening someone else's life at the restaurant on Third. You know, that fancy one. According to the caller it's a weaponised assault."

"You mean the one where all the big shot rich people go to?" Sasuke raised his eyebrow. "I never thought we'd get a weaponised assault in that area." And he also really didn't. That was the rich part of Konoha, and the crime rate was practically nil, unless you count the corrupt dealings of the businessmen around there. But weaponised assault?

That was just… really unexpected.

They got into their patrol car and Itachi floored the gas. "Let's hurry before something bad happens."

* * *

"I'm not quite sure someone who can frighten you to such an extend should be allowed to get off with a mere fine…" Sakura noted suspiciously. "What exactly is she here for again?"

Sasuke gulped. "That's the funny thing. She didn't actually _do_ anyt-" He was interrupted before he could finish his sentence as the door to the station opened again.

The three teens were surprised to see a familiar face standing before them.

"Hey there Neji, why're here?" Naruto asked as he cocked his head sideways in confusion. He hadn't really expected Hinata's cousin to be here.

Neji Hyuga, still in a business suit, approached them and greeted them with a nod. "I'm here to get something." He paused. "Rather, someone." He said in his typical calm voice.

Sasuke gave him a baffled look. "The only person we have in custody right now is…" He trailed off as dread filled his face. He glanced down at the file he was holding in his hand and gulped again.

"You wouldn't be here to bail out a Miss Tenten Lee, would you?" He asked cautiously as a bead of sweat ran down his face.

Naruto and Sakura eyed each other. Was this the scary girl?

Neji nodded calmly. "That'd be the one."

The young Uchiha gave him another look filled with disbelief. "That… girl?"

* * *

 _2 hours 50 minutes ago…_

Sasuke jumped out of the car, feeling the satisfaction of stationary ground under his feet again. Itachi may or may not have broken even more traffic rules than they are allowed to as the police.

He looked up at the extravagant restaurant, the pristine glass windows, which were tall and _frosted_. Looks like they wouldn't be able to assess the situation from the outside. The perpetrator, however, must've heard the sirens from the distance already.

His fingers travelled to his holster, ready to draw his gun any second. He shot Itachi a look as he did the same. Both nodded mutely and quietly opened the door, peering inside.

There they saw that the security had already intercepted the situation, holding back a man as he threw curse words towards a brunette female, who was also being held back by two security officers.

* * *

Neji raised an eyebrow at him quizzically before realization dawned on his face and he suddenly put a hand over his face. "Oh god, what did she do this time?"

Sasuke threw a worried look towards the long-haired Hyuga. "This time?" He repeated after him.

Neji immediately cleared his throat and composed himself. "Please excuse any…" He seemed to be searching for a word. "…inappropriate actions on her behalf. She tends to act very impulsively." He explained in that strictly-business-tone of his.

* * *

 _2 hours 45 minutes ago…_

"You fucking bitch!" The man in the business suit shouted at the girl. The two Uchihas, as they approached the fighting duo, couldn't make out her features since she had her back turned towards them, but from her cheongsam and her twin buns they figured she was either Chinese or going for a Chinese look.

"Screw you and all of your ancestors!" He cursed again. (1)

The girl's shoulders tensed momentarily as she lost all her cool, freeing herself from the tight grip the securities had on her, grabbing the next piece of cutlery her fingers could get a hold of and charging at the man.

In that moment, both Uchihas were silently glad that this restaurant was based off European restaurants, leading to a lack of chopsticks. Because god knows what would've happened if she had had chopsticks.

* * *

Sasuke scoffed. "No kidding, she almost dug out somebody's eyeballs with a _fork_."

Sakura's eyes widened. "She did _what_?!"

Neji suddenly sighed in relief. "Thank goodness it was only a fork and not a knife. Or chopsticks."

"I'm not exactly sure how we should take that…" Sakura sweatdropped. She knew all Hyugas had a weird side to them. Hinata… well, that fact that she fell in love with Naruto was probably weird enough, but sometimes Sakura had the feeling that she was just… all-seeing.

Hinata's father, Hiashi, was always distant towards his daughters and nephew, but if she had to guess he probably also had a quirk of his own. And now Neji was showing up at the police station bailing out some clearly questionable company.

Sasuke spoke into the intercom. "Bring Miss Tenten Lee out here, please."

A few minutes later, a small group of men came around the corner, a petite brunette in their middle.

She was clad in a long, red cheongsam that fit her _really_ well, her hair up in two Chinese buns and red lipstick to match her dress.

She was scowling as she glared at all of the men surrounding her, but her glare eased ocne her eyes landed on Neji.

"Neji!" She exclaimed happily. "You're finally here! Now get me out of here."

"Hello to you too, Tenten." He said sarcastically. "I'm doing well, thank you for asking."

She pouted. "Stop grouching around and get me out of these." She held up her handcuffed wrists.

"I know fully well you don't need my help for that." He stated matter-of-factly. "And besides, why should I help you after you assaulted somebody with a fork?"

"That's not true!" She continued pouting. "It was a spoon."

He sighed. "Alright, why should I help you after you tried to dig out somebody's eyeballs with a spoon?"

She pondered before giving him a thumbs up and a dazzling smile. "Because you're my best friend and this is what best friends do!"

"Tenten." Neji said sternly.

Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto all warily eyed each other. The few times they had met Neji, he had always been strictly serious, strictly business. In fact, Ino had once said he was the guy who would never get a girlfriend, but that it was okay because his clan would take care of that for him. Those were harsh words, but even Hinata had agreed to them to some extent. And that said a lot.

But now he was standing in front of them, playfully bantering and acting overly familiar with an admittedly attractive girl. Sakura knew when she had competition, and that tight cheongsam really was a bit distracting, judging by the way Naruto was carefully trying not to look. Even Sasuke was not looking directly at her, but maybe that still had to do with the fact that she scared him shitless.

* * *

 _2 hours 40 minutes ago…_

He marvelled at the girl's brutish strength. Both he and Itachi had intercepted her as she attempted to attack the man.

"Let go of me!" She snarled. "Let me dig out that bastard's eyeballs!"

"Look at her, officers, please take this insufferable woman out of here!" The man said, trying to accumulate some dignity in front of the police officers.

"Oh, you wait till I show you insufferable!" She glowered as Itachi snapped the handcuffs around her wrists.

"Miss, you're under arrest for weaponised assault." Sasuke spoke calmly, well, at least as calmly as possible considering the vicious female he was currently holding back.

She turned to him with a glare fierce enough to make him run away. Which he almost did. Almost. "Then how about you arrest him for being a disrespectful asshole." She asked with a saccharine laced voice, but the police officer did not miss the killing intent oozing off her.

"I'm terribly sorry, Miss. If we could do that, we'd have to arrest half of the world's population." Itachi smoothly interrupted.

"Hmpf." She turned her head away, pride fully looking upwards. She turned back to give the man one final pointed look.

"The next time we meet, you better not ask for any more business deals with my company. Or I'll make sure to really dig out your eyeballs with a spoon. And there won't be any interruptions."

And for some reason, the Uchiha siblings did not doubt her words.

* * *

 _2 hours ago…_

"Tenten Lee, 20 years old, born 9th of March. According to eyewitness reports, you were the instigator of the fight." Sasuke spoke slowly as he eyed the brunette, ready to run out of the room if the brunette girl even moved a muscle.

She, on the other hand had her eyes closed and seemed to be in deep thought. "That may be what it looked like, but had the other patrons in the restaurant truly been observing us, they would've taken note of his inappropriate behaviour towards me, justifying my actions completely." She answered calmly and took an elegant sip of her tea.

Talk about a split personality.

"I think it'll be a bit difficult to justify your actions, Miss Lee, but you should know that he will not be pressing charges."

And Sasuke fully understood the man's decision. He took a deep breath. "But that doesn't mean you can go around doing as you please. Violence isn't the solution for everything."

She gave him an innocent smile. "I know. It really isn't the solution for everything. But it is for many things."

* * *

"Alright, fine." She muttered. "Oh great Neji Hyuga, please humble this poor secretary of yours and get her out of this hellhole or she shall not be able to bring you your favourite coffee on Monday morning." She pleaded in over exaggeration.

Neji narrowed his eyes at her. "You, bring me coffee? If my memory serves right, I'm pretty sure I'm the one always bringing you coffee considering that you are not a morning person. Try again."

"I promise I will bring you coffee on Monday. I'll even show up early." She grinned. "Scouts honour."

"Out of the seven times you've promised me that, it only happened once. Because you had insomnia." He huffed.

"Goddammit Neji, just bail me out already." She whined. "This dress is uncomfortable, I never actually got around to eating anything and you know how much I hate wearing makeup! And if you hadn't sent me to take care of it all this wouldn't have happened. So it's all your fault!"

"Hn."

"Don't 'hn' me!" She puffed up her cheeks in annoyance. "Otherwise I'll tell your uncle that you failed to aid a helpless maiden in a time of need."

"Yes, an oh-so helpless maiden who almost gouged out somebody's eyes."

"Neji, please."

The Hyuga sighed once again before turning to a flabbergasted Sasuke. "So, what do I have to sign?"

* * *

When Kiba came to pick them up, he was greeted by three very pensive faces. "Hey guys." He tried.

Naruto just raised his hand to signal him to be silent. Confused, Kiba just let him be and warily glanced at the other two. "What's going on?"

"We may or may not have witnessed a miracle." Sasuke replied cryptically. "Anyway, let's not waste any more time. I have a few questions for Hinata…"

* * *

(1) You never insult the mother or the ancestors of a Chinese person. You just don't.

* * *

 **AN: I felt the urge to post this, to show that this fandom still has supporters, because you know what? Screw canon.**

 **Thank you for reading, and let me know your thoughts on this.**

 **~Emi**


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